How to Get An Asian Girlfriend By Valentine’s Day, According to Non-Asian Experts

If you’re on the lookout for an Asian girlfriend by Valentine’s Day, let the internet help you. After all, you know what they say: if you want to know what Asian women want in their love lives, just ask a mediocre white guy named Chad, Derek, John or Chuck, they’ll definitely know what they’re talking about.

Here are some of the so-called ingenious and fool-proof ways to get yourself an Asian girlfriend according to the self-proclaimed “experts” of the internet. Because you know, all Asian women are exactly alike.

 

According to Dean Cortez, “Asian women want to be around a masculine presence, because they are so utterly feminine.”

“This is not the case with a lot of American women these days. Not only do they want to “wear the pants” in the relationship, they’ll also adopt a masculine style of dress — such as wearing baggy sweatpants and baseball caps. You simply will never see an Asian woman dressing this way, even if she’s just going to the store,” he writes.

 

Apparently, all Asian women grow up watching what Dean calls, “romantic serials.”

 

“It’s absolutely OK to pay an Asian woman a compliment on how nice she looks,” Cortez reassures readers.

If she doesn’t react immediately or becomes shy, don’t worry because you’re actually doing this right. “Although she may act shy, and blush when you tell her, this just means that you’ve touched her emotionally,” Cortez says.

 

Dan Bloom has come up with a fool-proof three step method when it comes to speaking to Asian women:

 

Worst comes to worst, if you still can’t find your perfect Asian girl, ask for help. “If you’re in Korea or Japan you can even tell your colleagues that you’re looking for an Asian girlfriend.  It’s customary in certain Oriental countries to help friends out with getting dates,” Bloom writes.

 

“You’ll get asked by any Asian girl on the first date whether you have an Asian fetish. Just say that you’ve never dated an Asian girl and she’ll suddenly see you as a challenge. (Trust me, works every f**king time. Every. F**king. Time),” Lance writes.

Lance says that Asian women are more likely to fall for the charming and polite type than other races, “Once again, think about rom coms and how the hero acts – obviously don’t be that guy though – he never gets laid,” Lance says. So basically, invent a whole new identity is what he’s saying.

 

According to Lance, “Asian girls are REALLY f**king clingy. They will text you all f**king day long and pout about how you didn’t text them enough.”

Apparently Asian women are also too obsessed with money and wealth. “Asian girls expect the guy to pay and they care about money more than other populations,” Lance writes.

 

In an article written by Colt Williams it states, “East Asian girls are probably the most traditionally submissive women you will ever encounter. They will not lend much of a hand to you in their own seduction, so you must boldly lead them to the bedroom. And if you can do so while maintaining your frame, they’ll wet themselves in anticipation for what’s to come.”

In a different article by a man who calls himself “G-Freedom,” he argues the same rings true outside of the bedroom as well. “Asian women will generally not challenge a man too strongly when it comes to decision time,” he writes.

 

“Due to the fact that in ancient times families arranged marriages and they still try to do it nowadays, Asian women don’t really have a proper sense of what it means to seduce, flirt or date someone,” Daniel Marques writes in his book, “Dating Asian Women: What to Know and How to Behave When Dating an Asian Woman.”

However, you shouldn’t worry. Because according to Marques YOU are not the problem. It’s simply due to the fact that these women watch U.S. television on a daily basis but are anti-social and have never seen a real foreigner before.

 

In yet another book by Daniel Marques called, “The Dark Side of Asian Women: What to Expect From an Asian Woman Before It Happens” he writes, “many Asian women have daily fantasies about meeting a foreigner man and marrying him, have a family with him, etc.”

Asian women are obsessed with American romantic movies and these films have essentially brainwashed them so it’s important to be realistic with them but be gentle, because according to Marques, they are highly sensitive.

Marques recommends asking something along the lines of, “We haven’t kissed enough to talk about marriage, I think! What do you think?” or, “You know, in the movies, everything happens very fast because it has one hour and a half, but you can’t rush life in one hour and a half and compress it all there. Don’t you agree?”

 

According to Marques, “Asian women fear being abandoned by men and tend to be immature when dealing with relationships.”

“One of the most common situations is when she requests to have sex without a condom,” he writes. Asian women do this because they believe the only possible way to keep a man is to have a child with him.

Marques also notes, “Their immaturity about life and relationships is what makes them special and at the same a headache for the less patient men.”

 

As an Asian woman, allow me to add a final note to help you on your quest for love – STAY THE HELL AWAY AND JUST LEAVE US ALONE.

Honestly how do you even come up with this BS? That’s enough of the internet for me today.